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  • Writer's pictureTori Shirah

More Book Clubs & Trainings are NOT the Answer

Do you have a reservation? What's the name? Oh yes. Here you are so glad you're here. I've been expecting you. I'm Tori S Shira. You already knew that didn't you, are you ready to fall in love with your direct sales business and purpose again? Well, then you're in the right. Welcome to girl boss rehab.

How many times have you heard the saying network? Marketing is my favorite personal development course. Raise your hand. Yes. Yes. You and yet all of us, all of us have heard it at some point. I'm sure as we are working the business. And I absolutely agree with that statement, but, okay. You're gonna hear my thoughts on this.

I love personal development. Not only am I a personal development junkie, I'm also a true crime junkie. So if you have questions about which true crime podcast you like to listen to, or need suggestions, feel free to message me. And I'll give you the ones that are my favorites. And I'd love to hear your favorites too.

I'm all about podcasts, but when it comes to personal development, I, I love it. I. Assume it at such a high rate through audio books, through reading a book through trainings, through courses, through conventions, through conferences, through personal in events, you know, just in-home trainings or just like little happy hours where you get to hear people's stories, business, testimonies, personal testimonies, all the things, and that.

All really considered training and learning the personal development, because as you're experiencing these things, as you're consuming these things, you are, you're learning something you're taking away something, which is absolutely fantastic. Now, I don't know where you are in your personal development journey and.

When we are in the thick of wanting to build our business and create some momentum in our business and grow the business, we are thinking, okay, I've got to become a better leader. I've gotta watch more YouTube videos. I've got to be listening to this leadership training book. I've got to listening to this emotional intelligence training and doing this and those, I need to be part of this academy, this program, all good things, all good things.

However, not every personal development growth strategy includes a book, a podcast. Or another training. It just isn't, there's so much personal growth that you can do. That is not being part of the book club. There's so much personal growth that you can do that is not using another audio audible credit for a book there's so much personal growth that you can have that is not buying another book off of Amazon or watching another training on YouTube.

Again, I'm not saying that those are bad things. I'm just saying that those aren't the only things. So if those aren't the only personal growth things, what are some other options when God used? The last two years for me to pull me in the season of the getting lost and the direction that I was going, I could not find myself in a book.

I could not find the direction I was going or where my business needed to be or what I needed to do or what my purpose and mission and the impact God wanted me to. I couldn't find those in just watching another training, listening to another podcast in another book. And when we are told the speed of the leader is the speed of the gang.

And so if you wanna be a great leader, then you need to be the one showing up for all the team trainings, all the leadership calls you need to be showing up for the book club. You need to be leading your own book club. You need to be leading your own team call. You need to be doing. All these things and there is personal growth in those things.

Absolutely. If you've never let a team call before, if you've never had an in-person event talking about your opportunity, those are things. Yes. You're absolutely going to need to learn how to do to grow in your business. At whatever rate God has for you, but there are other ways in life that he uses to develop you as well in his development.

So I wanted to go through some ideas with you of different ways that you can get some personal development without. Drowning yourself in YouTubes and podcasts and book clubs and all of that, because I want you to start thinking outside the box, this business, this industry is magnificent. It's absolutely magnificent.

The sky is the limit literally, but I think that we. Spend too much time telling people not to reinvent the wheel that we've all gotten into this one track mind of this is what works. So you need to do this. This is what works you need to do. This duplication is fantastic. In some aspects, obviously you want the people you're bringing into your business to be able to replicate what you are doing.

However, you were never created to be duplicated. Never God knew from the beginning that there was never going to be a you ever again from the creation, the beginning of Genesis one, one, and until when he comes back, actually until after he comes back. But until the world ends, there's never gonna be a you so.

When we talk about duplication and what that looks like for our team members and for the people that we're leading and for the people that we're influencing in this business, we have to have that awareness that that is not going to happen. Because what works for you may not work for them. So you need to have other ideas of different types of personal development that have worked for you, or may work for them, the books, the YouTubes, the podcasts, all of those things may work great for you and for your schedule and for your season of life.

Absolutely. You may be in a great visual learner, so the YouTubes are perfect for you. You may be a great audio learner. So podcasts are fantastic. You may have a photographic memory. So books, you can remember everything that you read out of a John Maxwell book. Awesome. Those are all gifts that God has given you.

That's fantastic. But what if there's somebody on your team that can't seem to show up for a book club every single week? What if there is a mama who she is not tech savvy and cannot figure out YouTube for the life of her. She can still work this business. If she's not tech savvy. And doesn't know how to work YouTube or a podcast.

Let's be real. There's a great percentage of people that still don't know what podcasts are, although that percentage is decreasing slowly thanks to 2020. So let's go through some ideas of what other ways that you are developing personally. Outside of the box. So the first one I wanted to talk about is getting out of your comfort zone.

This kind of ranges that through everything, getting out of your comfort zone is a huge personal development. Now, what that looks like for you is gonna be different for everybody getting outta your comfort zone might just be showing up at the neighborhood. Barbecue. You may be the person that drives home, pulls into your garage, closes the garage door behind you.

So you don't have to talk to any of your neighbors or see any of your neighbors on a regular basis. Don't laugh because that was me and my husband when five years ago, when we were living in Texas, we just weren't neighborly. I guess. I think we were just, at the end of the day, we were just both like, Ugh people.

And you get that feeling if you're in direct sales, but maybe getting out of your comfort zone is just showing up for the neighborhood. Maybe getting out of your comfort zone is instead of dropping off your kid at the birthday, parties is actually sticking around and talk to other parents and just getting to know other parents in your kid's class, maybe getting out of your comfort zone is taking a college course that you've always wanted to take or an online course that you've always wanted to take.

I'm not saying they can. Do those things, educational things, courses and things like that. I'm just saying that it doesn't always have to be the staple, the standards of what we offer as personal development in our businesses. So is there a class that you're wanting to take online? I mean, colleges have so many continuing education classes now that they offer, or they offer so many different online virtual options.

I mean, they offered online classes before, but now it's incredible. The choices that you have in community colleges usually are so cost effective, especially if you're only wanting to do like learn one or two things. And maybe that's just learning how to do your taxes. That's a college course like taxes one on one that's personal development, because there are going to be things that you learn in that course.

That are going to be helpful to you in other areas, even if you're showing up and going to the birthday party, just to talk to other parents, there's so much in that space that you are learning and that you are growing in, that it still is personal development. And it's something just as simple as.

Emotional intelligence and learning to listen and listen to actually listen, not listen to how to respond. That's something you can practice when you go to birthday parties for your kiddo and talk to other parents, maybe showing up at a PTA meeting or a school board meeting. You're learning about what.

Your community, what your parents are locally caring about and how does that impact your business? Like you're learning about what's important to the people around you and your community. So how can you serve your community better with your business? How can you talk to mamas who have these concerns at school board meetings when you are.

Talking to them about the business opportunity, maybe it's saying, Hey, I get it. You don't like the direction that school's going right now. You've talked about homeschooling because that's your only cost effective option. But what if I showed you to be able to work from home and make an income while you're homeschooling or make enough income?

So you can do that Montessori down the street for your child. There are so many different ways that you can use the things that you're exposed to by just getting out of your comfort zone. Now in that while we're talking about a lot of that is just the exposure and just the listening and absorbing a lot of that, of getting outta your comfort zone.

Sometimes that does include opening your mouth. How many times do you talk to people about your business? How many times when you introduce yourself, do you say hi? You know, like, oh, what do you do? And do you just say, oh, I'm just a stay at home mom? Or do you say, oh, I run an e-commerce business on health and wellness supplements?

Or do you say, oh, I lead an incredible group of people on how to better themselves through health and wellness. Have you thought about how you talk. Your business, how you open your mouth, simple questions. Have you thought about an elevator pitch? If you're not familiar with an elevator pitch? It's basically a 32nd when somebody says, oh, what do you do in 30 seconds?

Describe what you do and why they need to be part of it. Have you thought of that? Have you practiced it? So one of the things that I used to do is I used to go to networking groups and there's quite a few of you guys and that's something I, I love to get people into as well and network marketing companies.

Usually there's a couple that are there. But they are. So we stand out, almost like a sore thumb because you have the realtor and the, the chiropractor and they're talking about their business. And then the network marketer is like, well, if you have anybody that has a face, or if you have anybody that has a gut send to my way, and nobody's gonna give anybody any referrals, like.

You've got to create a standout. If you want to have this as a business. And again, and this is where God is calling you to, you've gotta learn how to present yourself professionally and be as confident as the realtor who has a legit job. You know, and consider it in society, right? Like, you know, everybody stubs their noses at network marketing, like, oh, it's one of those, I don't care what you call it.

But we do. We automatically like people don't look at us. Like we have a legit income opportunity. I mean, don't get me started on that. I can rant all day. So they all have incredible elevator pitches. The realtor goes in and says, Hey, I am selling right now. I've got quite a few homes that are for sale for young families.

They're in great neighborhoods with great, great elementary schools that are right within the community. And I am looking for first time home owners that are looking to get into this elementary school things who do you know, I would love to know them. So what makes you unique in what you do if your business is the skincare, but you specialize in, like, I help women who have, have never taken care of their skin until they're in their.

Forties and older, and they're now trying to do corrective damage or anti-aging things, or if you're just like my specialty, if you're on the younger side and you're going, my specialty is teaching young women how to take care of their skin simply for the long haul. I want them to learn to keep it simple.

And that's what I teach women or for gut and Hellness. If you say I specialize in helping moms get their energy back. And being a better mom, better wife, better friend, and live the life that they love. Well, that kind of, that sounds pretty good. Like who's gonna say, well, no, I, I don't wanna live the life that I love or I love, okay.

So that's opening your mouth, but you gotta practice the words you gotta practice in front of people, practicing in front of a mirror is a great beginning, but if you don't get out there and get into an elevator hypothetical elevator and actually say the pitch nothing's ever gonna happen. You're never gonna get better at it.

Next one, trying something new, not in your business. What how's personal development working. If I'm not doing it for my business, have you ever gone to one of those paint and wine parties? No, go do that. Make it a date night, make it a girl's night. I don't care. Try something new. How's that gonna help your business?

It's going to help your business because you're putting yourself. Out there. And every single time you put yourself out there, it's going to make it easier to do it again and again and again in different situation. And you're gonna become more bold, more confident and more comfortable in the skin you're in.

That's why maybe trying something new is going to the library and asking if you could be a reader for the kids club on Tuesdays. That has nothing to do with business. That's maybe something for your kids. Maybe trying something new is trying to get elected as the PTA treasurer or secretary. There's so much growth in just trying something new and even better.

If you fail at it bonus points. If you fail at it, you're probably thinking like, Oh my God. What is this Lauren telling me to do? I'm telling you that it is okay to fail and I'm telling you that when you fail it's okay, you'll get up and do it again. And you're gonna try something else. Or maybe you try the same thing again, but this is going to help you in your business.

This is going to help you in life because you're not going to fear, regret, and rejection. Nobody is on their deathbed going, golly. I wish I hadn't done all that. They're more upset about the things that they didn't try, man. I wish I have done this. I should have made that phone call. I should have gone on that trip.

I always wanted to go to that's what they're wanting. The other thing too is by doing these things, you are impacting the people around you in your circle. When people see you trying new things as an adult. As a mom, as a grandma, as a single mom, wherever stage as a college kid, just try new things. I wanna go and do this.

I'm doing this. They're gonna get empowered too. And so when they say, oh, I don't know that I could do the things that you do. And you're like, well, you just tried this. That was new, didn't you? Oh yeah. Well, you know, and you really liked that, didn't you? Yeah. That's become your new hobby, hasn't it? Yeah. So what makes you hesitant about starting this opportunity?

Cuz that's something new and if you learned how to do that, I can definitely teach you how to do this. Okay. Here's another one. What about creating a workout plan? When you feel better, you do better. Simple. When we feel awful, it is harder for us to show up in the world. Like we should, we all know health wise, workout wise, you know, like, oh, I need to be Helder.

I need to work out more. I need to exercise more. Okay. But let's break it down into simple steps. What if quote, unquote, working out more is taking a walk with your dogs once a day, 30 minutes, that's it? That can be your workout plan. That makes you feel good at the end of the day. And then that way, when you've been home at your computer for the whole day or whatever, but you, you walked the dogs before you got going.

You did go out to hide and you got 30 minutes and that's good. Your body's gonna feel better mentally. You're gonna feel better. There's so many studies about how working out walking just a little bit of some kind of movement makes your body feel better and it helps you emotionally and mentally. It is mental health.

You guys. Again, how is that going to help you in your business? Because when people see you do something like that, a simple, like maybe you're a mom of six kids and you're like, how on earth am I going to that? Inspires them to think, well, she can do it. I can do it. Or it inspire it. It just inspires them to ask you, Hey, how did you make that change?

And also when you fail at it and you didn't make it. that also makes an impact on them too, because then you go, yep. Messed up. Didn't work out. It's a Monday, Ugh, eyes in bed. I'm like, okay, she's human, she's human. She didn't do it. But then you go out there and you do it again. You make the walks the next time.

So it doesn't have to be a lot, but just that time of personal development physically is going to make a difference in your life. All right. And last, the most important I would say is spending time in God's word. I would say start with this one, even though I put it last, start with this one, because if you don't know.

What's in the word. If you don't know how God loves you, how he treasures you, how you are chosen and adopted and beloved and how he died for you, then you're missing out on a lot. It's gonna be harder to have contentment in the hard places. It's gonna be harder to inspire others when they're in the hard places.

Life in general is just gonna be harder. I mean, it's hard enough, right? And. When, you know, what's in God's word, it doesn't matter how many times you read a verse. People tend to have a favorite verse and I love favorite verses and memorize verses, but when's the last time with that favorite verse that you read the chapter before in the chapter after and read the entire context of it and that you knew.

Or when's the last time that you did like a study on that book of the Bible from your favorite verse or your life verse? Do you know what it's all about? And what if it's getting in the word is maybe it starts with a Bible study. You just joining a Bible study at your church, or I know life way offers some online stuff and you can always find it online.

I highly suggest going in person. I think person Bible studies are, you're gonna get the most bang for your buck on that one, but I also think the most. Time is your one on one time when it's just you and Jesus. And sometimes the Bible's not gonna be open for that one. Sometimes you are just talking and talking and talking and waiting for an answer, and that's gonna be powerful.

That's gonna be the big shift for your personal development. So out of all the things that I've mentioned, talking about getting outta your comfort zone, opening your mouth and practicing that. Trying something new, a workout plan or spending time with God and spending time in his word. What is going to be the thing that you are going to use?

What is going to be the thing that you suggest to somebody who's, hasn't been making the book clubs or hasn't been on the team calls and, you know, have you talked to people about their personal development? How do you learn best? When I send material out, I typically ask people, would you like a PDF or is a video better for you?

it's because we're all different. I know some people that hate to read because they read all darn day on a computer screen in their office and they have no desire to read one more thing. So a book is the last thing on their list and I don't blame 'em. They may read a fiction novel, but non-fiction, that's not gonna be they're like I would rather read the legal document.

That's sitting in my email than one of these personal development books. So have you talked about that with people? Have you thought about it? What personal development strategies are you doing currently doing that aren't working for you that you're just consuming? Yes, absolutely. I will consume, consume, consume a lot of things and never put them into application whatsoever.

I've spent money on trainings. I don't even wanna think about how much money I spent on trainings in my first business, but it's because all I was told was like go to every training that you could possibly get, go to every, but it was never about for me. I was like, okay, I'm going. I'm going. And I'm I, if you know this, I'm a blue, I'm a.

Seven. So being personable and sociable, I'm all about being with the people. And I don't wanna miss out FOMO major thing for me. And so I didn't wanna miss out. And so I'll go, I'll go to everything. That's fine. Great. I'll show up and then I'll buy the books. I'll buy the DVDs after the session and it's all great.

Da, da, da. And then they sit there or I listen to 'em and then I'm like, oh gosh, I need to write that down. And then I never do, or I never put in an application. And had I focused more on things that grew me personally, of getting outta my comfort zone at the time network marketing meetings or getting into God's word when I was young and dumb.

I, I mean, absolutely. I would've been, I would so not be where I am now. I don't think actually it probably would be thanks to God's grace, but that's the. I want you to start thinking outside of the box of what personal development means and don't feel bad for not including yourself on the book club, when your team is doing a book study and you're not gonna do, like, if that doesn't work for you, don't do it and don't feel guilty and don't feel obligated.

Okay. Your team may be learning from somebody, but right now you need to focus on just getting out and talking to people. just to get better at talking, socializing, being comfortable in the world. If , well, all of us could definitely use some practice in that after the last, you know, quarantine years, I hope that this helps you.

I hope that this gives you hope. I want it to. Really some guilt, some shame, the things that, the obligation that you are feeling about your personal development, uh, that you're not growing, you are growing and you can grow in so many different ways than just the typical checklist of a book club, podcast, and YouTube.

Thanks you guys, and we'll see you next week. Great session today. I'll see you back here next week in the meantime, be sure to follow the real dot Tori Shire on Instagram. And if you have any questions between this week and next week session, you can email girl boss rehab, And remember got already factored in stupidity.

When he assigned us our mission and purpose.

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