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  • Writer's pictureTori Shirah

3 Ways to Get Over the FOMO

Hello friends. Welcome back to Girl Boss Rehab. I'm so happy that you are joining me this week. This is a topic that I am doing. Because I feel it, and I pretty sure there's quite a few of us that feel it too, especially when social media has only made it worse. Okay. You're probably curious. What am I talking about today?

I'm gonna be talking about jealousy. Why? It is so easy to be jealous these days. We compare our lives to other people's highlight reels on Facebook, Instagram, everything is Instagram perfect. We don't see the dirty dishes in the sink. We see the beautiful dining room table all decorated, and it looks like they're about to have a party for 12 and just behind that camera or the person taking the picture, their kitchen island is a.

Rec landing place for all the things. When the kids come home from school, all the dirty dishes are still in the sink from the day before, and who knows what else. So we have to remind ourselves that Instagram and Facebook, TikTok aren't real, not reality, and not something to ever be envious of or play the comparison game.

And in general, right? Like because we do, we realize that it's only a fraction, it's a split second. It's a snapshot. It's not the whole thing. Life is not built in a snapshot, right? Why am I talking about the jealousy in comparison this week or this coming week? A group of my friends who I absolutely love, adore.

Are all headed to beautiful Hawaii and they are going on our company's incentive trip and I'm absolutely jealous. , I so wanna be on that plane with them. I want to be on that ridiculously long plane ride with them. The hour car ride to the resort and spend a week with them in beautiful paradise. But because I am not at the rank to earn that trip and have not earned that trip.

I will not be there. And so I have been watching all of their posts and talking to them as they get ready and are packing and they're so excited and planning and of course, as they should be, I mean, a trip to Hawaii who wouldn't be excited about that, especially one that you don't have to pay for. And so, you know, Just little conversations and things like, Oh, well I'm getting this ready before we leave for Hawaii.

Or, you know, a girlfriend came over and borrowed some cute outfits, so sh you know, so she had just some different stuff to wear and I am so happy to be doing that. And these women that I know personally, Uh, they absolutely will need this refresher and need this break from reality, the day to day, getting kids off to school, picking them up, all the sports activities, all the things.

So I know that it's brought in a good time, but it doesn't escape the fact that I'm jealous and I absolutely dying inside cuz I wanna be there with them. I mean, like, who wouldn't wanna be on a trip with your closest friends and. Be adults for a week. Doesn't that sound amazing? I mean, leaving the children for just a long weekend, amazing to me.

I'd go just an hour away for just a weekend away with my husband, but. I know that if I am feeling this jealousy, if I am feeling this envious about it, I know that you probably are too, or you have in the past, or if you are burned out and so frustrated with your business that you are almost angry at these trips.

So I wanted to talk about it a little bit. Let's go over just a couple of things and hopefully help. You and me reign in that jealousy and remember the vision that God has given us is maybe different than the vision that we want for our lives, right? The first thing, keep your hustle and check. Now a lot of these social media posts are going to say, Be here with me next year, and if I can do this, so can you.

And you know, creating that sense of fomo. Fear of missing out for myself as an Enneagram seven. That is the worst thing ever. FOMO is legit for me, and even if I can't go, I wanna be invited. Y'all , you know, you're gonna see all these fun things, right, that they're all doing, and it that, that FOMO is real.

And so it is so easy to go, All right, well, all I need to do is X, Y, z within the next. 10 months and I could totally make this happen and I could be with them next year. I could be on the next trip and I could do this. And then all of a sudden you are in the hustle mentality again. You are in the, I've got, I got, I got, I should da, da, da.

And that may not be where God is wanting you for this season. I'm not saying you can't be motivated by these kinds of trips or these kinds of prices. You absolutely can be, but. You also cannot hold onto them so tightly that you are only focused on that moment of what it's gonna feel like. You know when your feet are in the sand or what it's gonna feel like when you walk on that plane, knowing that you're going to this trip, you cannot focus on those things.

People may say that you're creating that mindset. You are. You're manifesting that you. Once you can feel that, then you can be that. And I have to disagree because it doesn't matter if you can feel your toes on the sand. If that's not where God has you, then that's not where he has you. Your toes will never feel the sand.

And believe me, I can imagine my toes in the sand right now, but if that's not part of his plan for me, then it doesn't matter how often I feel that sand underneath my feet, it's never going to happen. And I'm not saying. That it's never going to happen for you. And I'm not saying it's never gonna happen for me, I'm just saying we can't hold onto these things so tightly that we forget God's purpose for us and for our business.

So how do we. Do this unplug. If you have to turn off social media, don't check in every single day. Don't mindlessly scroll. You're just inviting those jealous thoughts, those envious thoughts that, Ugh, I don't wanna be there. And then you are either inviting that, Oh, I could have been, I should have been, or I need to work harder.

Or, you know, I missed it by this much. All of that. You inviting all of those feelings and they. No one that shame, that guilt that you feel. Go back to episode four. Listen to that again. But those feelings serve no one, and those are not from God. When we disobey God and we miss an opportunity that he has laid out before us, we ask for forgiveness.

When we acknowledge and say, God, I know that you asked me to do that and I didn't, and I missed it. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. He's never gonna go, Well, I wish I could give you another opportunity, but since you didn't listen to me on that one, I'm not going to give that to you. No, that's not from him.

Nothing. Canor, God's plan and purpose were our lives. If God wants you on some incredible incentive trip with your. Business with your company, your a sales trip to earn. If he wants you there, you will get there. You will be obedient in the work that he's called you to do in the work of serving people.

and I'm not saying it won't come hard, but you will have to put work in and you will have to obey God. He's going to stretch you. He's going to ask you to do things that are uncomfortable, but it will not come at the sacrifice of your family and it will not come at the sacrifice of your time with him.

So unplug on social media if you need to, and then when everybody gets back, You can get back on, but that's just a simple way that you can avoid the feeling of FOMO and all of the jealous feelings. Being tired all the time is like a badge of honor now. Oh, you haven't slept, been a full week. Well, I may have slept, but I wake up like I feel like I just got hit by a.

And how many times do we catch ourselves scanning the pantry or illuminating the kitchen with just the light from the fridge? Because I want something, I just don't know what, Wouldn't it be amazing if we could hit an actual reset button on our bodies, just like we do on our phones when they start acting wonky?

Y'all. Now we can. I'm not kidding. In three days, you can feel healthier and more confident. Reset helps you reimagine your health, remove the roadblocks, and reset your course for health with this three day nutritionally supported fast, aka. You won't starve. You're getting 68 grams of protein. Can I get a hallelujah?

You are resetting your metabolic system on a cellular level. There is not enough fitness classes in the world that can do that. Y'all go to crazy faith and get yours today for the first 50, you'll see a promo code to get 10% off, so don't wait. Time to press the reset button on your body.

And the last thing I want you to know is I want you to remember your exactly where God wants you. He knew exactly where you would be. He knew that you would on this day at this time. He knew that you would be listening to this, and he is very much loving, faithful. All of these things still, but why aren't you on the trip this year?

You missed it by X amount. You've missed it by so many dates. God's got a reason for that. He's got purpose for you in the now. You waste nothing. God wastes nothing. He's not going to waste your time for this next full year, before the next trip or whatever. He's not gonna waste this one week when everybody's gone and you aren't.

He wastes nothing. So ask him what you do today. I mean, I need to get better at this, but the days that I wake up and go, Okay, God, what are we doing today? Who do you want me to meet? God, who am I supposed to serve? Who needs me? And who do I? Introduce me to these people. Like if I can get better at praying that every single day, oh my gosh, I would go to bed feeling productive like nobody else.

Real life y'all, I'm recording this obviously at my house and you probably in a couple episodes ago, you could hear my cat meow. Let me know if you could have heard him, but he's in my spot now. So if you hear cat meowing, it's real life. He's an old, grumpy, old cat. I hope it doesn't bother you, but we can always ask God.

Where are we supposed to be? Help me be there. Help me be obedient. Help me see people the way that you see people. Help me have my hands open and my heart open to receive something or to give something. Because if we're closed fisted, not only are we holding onto things and can't give things away, but we also can't receive things.

I mean, essentially put your hands together like handcuffs, like your hands were in handcuffs in front of you, like, and your fists are closed. You can't give anything, but you also can't receive anything either. It's not until our hands are open that we can give things and God can bless us and receive things.

So, Start asking God, who am I supposed to talk to? Is somebody that's coming to your mind just randomly over and over again, and you're like, Why am I thinking about that person? I haven't talked to them in forever. Just reach out to 'em. Send a quick text. Hey, thinking of you, God put you on my heart.

Wanted to reach out and I wanna say one other thing. I would encourage you to. Get together or have a Zoom or a physical meetup. I prefer physical meetups. They're so much better. But get together with other people who are not on the trip because maybe you need to be encouraging to them. Maybe they need encouragement or maybe they just need to know that they're not the only ones feeling this way.

And that like, Hey, it's okay that I didn't make the trip, and the trip is not everything. It's an incredible bonus. , an incredible bonus that we would all long for. I mean, Ugh, my travel bug heart. Just, y'all tell me where to be and I'll be there. But we can be encouraging to others, but just by telling them like, Oh my gosh, I feel it too.

I mean, there's so much in that community, and it's not a pity party. This is not a pity party by any means, but maybe it's just reminding others that didn't get the trip or whatever, and just saying, Our worth is not. Tied to our business, not tied to our rank, not tied to the promotion, to the incentives we win.

It is not tied to any of that. And God has a purpose for you and I right here in this space. That is not on a sandy beach, and he absolutely has a purpose for those people that are on that incentive trip. Absolutely he does. It could not come at a better time For those friends that I was telling you about that are had not, it could not come at a better time for them, and I know it.

I remind myself of that, that they need this, they need this refresh. They need to see the beauty of God and their scenery. They need the time to reconnect with their spouse. They need the time for their kiddos to figure out life for week without them. So I know that he has just as much purpose for them going and just as much purpose for me staying here.

And that's encouraging y'all because there's purpose in everything that he does. This is a call. To not be jealous, a call to know why you are exactly where God wants you. I want you to know that you're not the only one that feels that way and that there is absolutely others that feel this way, but two, that it's okay, but you've gotta look around and see what God's purpose is for you in this season right now while you're.

All right, before I say goodbye for this session, what I would love for you to do is I have got a free weekly priorities planner on my website that I would love for you to download, and it just is kind of, it's a week outline and it just helps you to focus on. Things, faith first, family second, and then fill in all the other stuff for your week, helps you organize it.

And so you can get that free weekly and just scroll to the bottom and you'll see where you can just put your email in and it'll get sent to you. And I would also love for you to join the Facebook community. It's Girl Boss Rehab podcast community on Facebook. Just search that.

There is a link in the show notes for that as well. But I would love to see you there. I'm gonna try to start doing some lives there, Some question and answer, but I want this community to be for those who have felt the burnout, the frustration, and the overwhelm of trying to do it all in the hustle and just for it to be a place of.

Peace and encouragement for others and for you to know it's a safe spot to talk and ask questions and things like that. Share this with a friend. Okay? This doesn't just apply to our network marketing business, but if, you know, somebody who is struggling immediately comes to mind going, Oh, they need to hear this because they too are mis have the fomo, have the comparison.

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